Where do I even begin? It’s been 6 months since you saw me last and I could never have imagined that our lives would all be turned upside down by a virus… in 2020! It seems surreal even as I type this and things are coo coo “out there”.
I suppose I start by saying, Hi. Hello. I hope you are doing well. That you’re getting through this, that you’re reminding yourself every day that “we can do hard things” and that you know it’s ok to not be ok. My daily journaling looks a lot like that, lists of the wins- no matter how small (today I wrote about being grateful for buffalo dip) and reminders that we are doing it, we’re getting through & that everything will work out. It helps keep me calm in the face of uncertainty.
As we step into May, Alberta has started their relaunch program and it makes me nervous. Too many people with a false sense of security makes me uneasy. Too many people thinking we’re getting back to normal when in reality it just means our hospitals can handle more sick people. Even that sentence makes me cringe. However, I can only do what I can do for me & my family and that might look like not going out when they say we’re allowed. It might look like we keep ordering online and getting deliveries instead of going into the actual stores & restaurants. It might look like hanging in my backyard for the next few months and not going adventuring to the parks like I so badly want to. Again, so much uncertainty.
While life looks different, it doesn’t look all bad. I have been able to create more. I am participating in The 100 Day Project(a GLOBAL creativity project) and I am enjoying it so much. We’re on day 28, you can see all that work over on my Instagram: nadinekarendesign. I’ve been working from home designing card & layout kits for Treasured Memories‘ Online Store and doing some much needed organization of my pattern paper stash.
I am also doing a personal 100 day project revolving around my physical body and movement. I have moved my body in some way for 28 days in a row. It has been instrumental in keeping my mental health and spirits up.
I’ve adjusted my routine to accommodate home schooling and I can say from the deepest parts of my soul that It Is Not For Me! I’ve figured out new ways to connect with people (although admittedly I’m not very good at actually reaching out). I’ve cried a bunch and laughed a bunch. I’ve gotten dressed and I’ve forgotten to shower. I’ve done nothing for days in a row and was a busy bee as well. I’ve reminded myself to be kind, especially to myself when I felt anything but. I wear a mask but I hate it. I do it because I feel my shoulders lower when I do and because I might be protecting someone else. I say thank you every.single.day for our health and that Cory kept his job when so many were laid off. My heart aches when I see Anna missing her friends but am so grateful for face time and zoom meetings. Lots has changed and yet, so much stays the same. I have a whole new appreciation for the simple things (like popping into the store to grab toilet paper) and am wildly aware of how much I took for granted. I can only hope that I can look back and say “This made me better, it made us all better.”
How are you spending your days?
I’m sending love & light and a reminder that you’re doing it, you’re getting through this- even if it’s messy- you’re doing it.
I’m back !! I read through part of your post one night then my eyelids got heavy. NOT a reflection on your writing, it merely was just me powering down like the Ever Ready Bunny, LOL. I found myself nodding all through this read. It’s a bit daunting at times to think about when or how life can return to normal or ‘new normal’. Or even think about what our city might look like with so many businesses not making it through. Then I HAVE to turn and face the sun, let the grey shadows of those thoughts fall behind because that’s how I need to live my life. If it looks like indifference at times, it’s just me drinking from the cup half full. I’m grateful for our home, Jims employment, our health and you too. Keep a smile on your face whenever possible and continue to pass it on. You’ll never know how much it means to someone else’s day. Someone like me. xoxox Love you !